Once Burnt, Twice Hurt
by Zentauria
Summary: Duplicating injuries is not a problem normal people have to deal with, and it doesn't sound so bad. As long as you stay out of fights, no harm done, right? But that's not how it works. From scalding your tongue to stubbing your toe, accidents happen every day. It's ANNOYING, is what it is! [One Shot collection, mostly plotless fluff]
1. Burn

„Man, I'm so tired!"

Rex folded his arms on top of one of the Vargel Tavern's tables and pillowed his aching head in them. It was times like this when he wished Vandham didn't will him the mercenaries of Garfont. He was a salvager, and a fairly overworked one at that. He wasn't cut out for this.

He kept that thought to himself though, mostly because he was ashamed of it.

Nia, however, did not have any such inhibitions. "Keeping this place up and running sure is hard work," she complained across the table, which even got Dromarch in on the action.

"Vandham was a leader of great skill. It's only a matter of course that replacing him would take its toll on Rex."

Rex muttered something that was originally going to be a snappish _thanks for the reminder_ but went incoherent halfway in.

"Rex-Rex will do great!" Tora chimed from somewhere to the left, cheery as ever. "Rex-Rex already amazing leaderpon!"

Under any different circumstances, Rex would have been grateful for the unwavering belief of his fluffiest companion. But as it were, the words sounded more like a major denial of reality. Not that he felt like pointing out the many ways in which leading a group of six (or seven, or six and a half, he was yet to figure out that whole Mythra debacle, too) which basically led itself and didn't require any paperwork differed from leading a business while he couldn't even be there for most of the time.

Not to mention that he was still grieving.

Rex groaned and hauled himself upright. "Thanks, Tora."

Tora smiled, but a vaguely disapproving snort from Nia caught everyone's attention and saved Rex the effort of returning it.

The girl flicked one of her ears. "So, what are you planning to do? We can't stay here forever."

Rex' eyes narrowed, adding mild annoyance to his general aura of exhaustion. "I know!" he snapped, making her raise her brows. She didn't say anything, but she crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.

Rex sighed and mirrored her actions. "I know," he muttered, staring at his knees and gritting his teeth. The best course of action was probably asking Yew and Zuo to run the place, but it seemed like a very un-leadery thing to do and Rex didn't want to disappoint Vandham like this.

"I'm sure we'll find a way," a gentle voice rang out and four heads turned to Pyra, who was flanked by Poppi and Azurda. All three of them were loaded with steaming cups.

Rex brightened instantly. Tora's ears fluttered with excitement. "Meh-meh-meh! Tea smell really good!"

Pyra chuckled and smiled, eyes closed and head slightly tilted. "Thank you."

"Masterpon. Please do not drool on the table."

"Meh?!"

While Tora dissolved into outraged muttering, Nia threw back her head and laughed loud enough for other patrons to turn their heads. Rex, after a moment of confusion, joined in. The result was even more outrage on Tora's part, but nobody really cared. Even Azurda was grinning when he eventually landed on the table, hugging his cup.

Pyra placed one of her cups in front of Rex and slid into the seat next to him. "I'm glad you're better."

Rex abruptly stopped laughing and sent her a puzzled look. "Huh? Oh…" He sighed and massaged his forehead. "The headache… I'm sorry, I didn't know it would transfer."

"No need to apologize," Pyra said, her smile less one of encouragement and more of amusement now. "Besides, it didn't."

"Then how did you…?!" Rex cut himself off and slumped forward, shaking his head. "Never mind. I'm just that obvious, ain't I?"

Pyra giggled. "It's not a bad thing, Rex."

"Whatever," Rex huffed, then thought better of it and flashed a smile. A tired one, but a smile nonetheless.

Pyra said nothing, and she didn't need to. The relief and the serene kind of mirth that was just so typical for her glimmered in her eyes, rendering words unnecessary and coaxing a soft snicker from her partner.

"Thanks, Pyra."

Humming a bouncy little tune, Rex picked up his tea cup and took a sip.

Somewhere, Nia and Azurda yelled warnings, only to be drowned out by Pyra and Rex screaming in unison. Fortunately, the pain abated quickly and their cries died down. Pyra fell silent as she never experienced that kind of injury before and her body had no idea how to deal with it, however, Rex next to her was panting and fanning his tongue.

"Yeah, that stuff is boiling hot," Nia deadpanned and cupped her chin. "Jeez, you're so stupid."

"Fank yu, Nia," Rex forced out between gasps. "Wad would I do wiffoud yu?"

Nia smirked. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

Rex' response, even if he would never admit it, pretty much boiled down to pouting. "No."

Pyra was still busy analyzing the feeling on her tongue. It wasn't hurting anymore, but it felt kind of… furry? Well, definitely funny, but it was not the sort of experience she was in any hurry to repeat.

Still, it was worth it, and she cupped her face with a small snicker. "So that's what a burn feels like," she remarked, making Rex abort his mission of glaring down Nia and turn to her with a surprised look on his face. It eventually changed into an awkward laugh and Rex rubbed the back of his head.

"Hehehe… Sorry about that."

Pyra shook her head and smiled. "It's fine. I'm actually quite happy to share this with you. Most Blades don't get this chance."

"You have some very weird priorities," Nia piped across the table. "I…" She cut herself off. Her ears twitched and her eyes flicked to the side for a split-second. "I mean, if I were a Blade, I wouldn't be too eager to be boiled alive." She swiped an arm along her nose. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"Oh, I think it's very refreshing."

Rex had taken to staring into his cup, his face going redder and redder. Why did he keep getting himself into this kind of waters?!

_Someone kill me now… _

* * *

**Confession time: I did _not_ play this game in English. I played it in German and Japanese, got very deep into the feels, couldn't wait to write about it, and by the time I reached the tavern in Garfont, I realized I had no idea what I was doing. Because I was pretty sure 'Taumelschritt-Taverne' was wrong.**

**So I changed my Switch language to English, sampled some of the cutscenes, and fell into despair.**

**[Warning: Incoming rant. Please note that it's not meant to offend anyone or sound Better Than You, and if it does, feel free to point it out. Aspie over here, gauging reactions isn't really my strong suit.]**

** The Nopon have their grammar all backwards, Nia and Rex' speech is so much more formal, and the sheer amount of _stuff_ that got added to the dub is _astounding_. The hardest part was probably 'Rex-Rex'. Like, I'm _sorry_, but that construction sounds _baaad_ and it should_ feel_ bad! Well, and then there was the fact that I constantly had to remind myself to write 'Pyra' instead of 'Homura', though Byakko/Dromarch is probably the biggest offender in that department. Mórag's nice, though, since I'm not really sure how to transcribe her original name. Merev? Melef? And her Blade. Brighid just rolls off the tongue while Kagutsuchi is another one of those words that should feel bad about itself.**

**[Edit: I guess the pinch-of-salt part of this didn't come out the way I thought it would. The only reason why there aren't more pro-dub arguments is that I was reluctant to make this A/N even longer, but now that I'm here... I'm happy the dub exists. It's super creative (I love the part with the different dialects especially), makes a lot of people happy and is just generally twice the Awesome With A Capital A because two versions of XBC2 are better than one. There are pros and cons to both versions, and my preference for Japanese voice acting doesn't make anyone's preference for English any less valid.]**

**Anyway, my point is... I'm working with a very bizarre mixture of voices here, so those who are more versed in the way of the English, feel free to go off in the reviews. Especially Rex and Nia are my problem children. (Incredibly cute problem children, though. Like my grandma's dog, though I guess the problem in this case isn't actually the dog...)**


	2. Bellyflop

"Are you sure about this?" Nia stepped away from the cliff, shuddering. "This has gotta be at least three peds!"

"Come on!" Rex cheered, waving his arms and grinning. "It'll save us half an hour of walking! Besides, it's really not so bad. I jump down cliffs ten times this high every day."

Azurda poked his head out of Rex' helmet. "You know, not everyone grows up cliff-diving, Rex."

"You what?!" Nia screeched, causing Rex' grin to grow even broader, to the point that his teeth started showing.

He crossed his arms and leaned forward, pretty much right into Nia's face. "What, are you afraid of a little fall?"

Nia nearly lost it. She jumped forward too, reducing the distance between their noses to a few inches. "You're such a child, Rex!"

Rex snorted and straightened his posture. By now he'd left the indignation about that behind. "Sure, sure! And you're so much better, Nia!"

Nia huffed and pulled back as well, crossing her arms in the process. Knowing she'd lost, she contented herself with glaring at Dromarch instead. The white tiger awkwardly licked his front paw, looking like he wanted to agree with Rex but refrained from commenting.

"Um, Rex?" Pyra's gentle voice rang from the edge of the cliff.

Rex switched from teasing to worrying in the blink of an eye. "What's wrong, Pyra?"

"It does seem a little high…"

"Really?"

He dashed over, leaving Nia to tsk behind his back. "Of course he listens to _her!_"

"I can see his reasons," Dromarch finally spoke up. "I suggest you stop belittling Master Rex at every turn, my lady."

Nia huffed. Rex switched into ‚Deaf to Annoying Gormotti' Mode so he could properly focus on his partner.

He joined Pyra at the ledge overlooking a lake. "So you'd rather walk as well?"

Pyra hummed uncertainly. "I want to reach Yukrit before nightfall, too. And if you say it's fun, I'm sure it is and I'd like to try it, but…"

Rex leaned over the drop and sighed. It was the safest, easiest jump he'd seen in years and his aching feet disagreed very much with the notion of a detour that was, in his eyes, completely unnecessary. However, he held no desire to force his companions into this if it scared them so badly.

"Alright then. The pathway it is."

Pyra smiled. "Thank you, Rex."

A soft laugh escaped Rex. He couldn't stay disappointed for long, so he nodded and turned on his heel to rejoin Nia and Dromarch. "Well, that's settl-"

He was cut off by a roar somewhere down the path. A tremor ran through the ground, causing the metal in Rex' soles to vibrate. Four heads turned in alarm, frozen in shock until an Armu appeared from around the bend, hauling its sizable mass up the steep rock. Another roar split the air, and it was most patently _not_ the Armu.

"Alright, I changed my mind!" Nia yelled and grabbed the wrists of Pyra and Rex, who were still recovering. "Jumping down this cliff sounds really fun after all!"

Rex, now spurred into action, slipped his wrist from Nia's grasp. As soon as he found his rhythm, he started his crash course: "Alright guys, it's really important to jump feet first. Push off with all you've got, hesitate and you'll lose your footing. And don't forget to hold your breath! I'll go first!"

A burst of speed and five steps later, Rex was airborne, with his companions close behind. Years of practice took over, and he barely made a splash as his soles hit the surface of the lake.

He let the water envelop him. Not quite as soft and wispy as the Cloud Sea, but cool and soothing all the same. He didn't feel any need to resurface any time soon.

Until his stomach exploded, that was.

It was like the crack of a whip, coming from right out of nowhere. Shock and pain smacked the wind from his lungs, driving out his air supply in a silent, bubbling scream.

Rex was in no state to keep his reflexes from kicking in. A desperate inhale flooded his lungs, making him cough up the meager traces of oxygen that the initial shock had mercifully left him with. He had his control back, but it was too late. His chest burned. His vision was growing spotty and fuzzy. He couldn't tell up from down anymore, only hope he was pushing in the right direction when his usually impeccable sense for water pressure started to fail him together with the rest of his body.

He fumbled for emergency cylinders, not thinking about how even if he found them, they couldn't help him expel all the water he swallowed.

Another desperate kick. Another one. Rex' vision went black, but his legs kept kicking until there was nothing left to kick on and his senses slipped away for good.

* * *

Rex coughed. His muscles spasmed even though he was so drained that, by all rights, they shouldn't be moving at all, but something supported him and held him in place while he retched up a considerable amount of water. Before long, he found himself curled up on the ground, hurting, heaving, without an idea where or why he was and heartily disinterested in such details.

He only wanted to pass out again. And his body agreed.

* * *

The next time he came to, his senses were intact, though he saved himself the effort of doing anything. He was still aching, and he was warm and comfortable, so why bother?

It was only when he realized he was moving that he was startled into sluggish action. He hoisted himself up and blinked, willing his eyes to focus. It was dark, which hopefully meant nighttime instead of half-blindness, and with Rex' line of sight being determined by his exhausted, droopy head, the first thing he saw was a pattern of black and white. And above it, a pair of friendly blue eyes.

"Hey, Dromarch," Rex muttered mechanically, and the eyes brightened.

"It appears you're with us again, Master Rex."

Rex shook his head. "Somewhat…"

"Hey, sleepyhead!"

Rex winced. The movement stopped, and Rex looked up to gaze straight at Nia. "What…?"

"Don't yell at him, Nia." Pyra stepped to Nia's side. "Rex just woke up."

"Yeah. From nearly getting himself drowned, that idiot!"

Rex rubbed his forehead. "Drowned?" he repeated, his voice hoarse and his mind still fuzzy. However, it didn't take long for the memories to crash down on him like a tidal wave. He gasped. New energy rushed through his veins and he sat bolt upright. "Is everyone alright?" he asked, nearly tripping over his own words. "Is anyone hurt? Pyra?"

Pyra folded her hands across her chest, looking guilty by now. "I'm sorry, Rex. It's my fault. I didn't hit the water correctly."

The memory alone made Rex' chest and stomach hurt all over again, but he shook his head and ordered the corners of his mouth to twitch upwards. "Don't worry about it. Everyone bellyflops at some point. And we're all still in one piece, right?"

Pyra didn't seem entirely convinced, but she nodded. Rex nodded back and swung his foot over what turned out to be Dromarch's back to slide off. His legs were shaky, but they held him perfectly fine and Rex tapped his feet a little to get his circulation going.

Eventually, the grin was back on his face and he turned around. „Thanks for the ride, Dromarch! I really appreciate that!"

Dromarch bowed his head, but didn't say anything. They both knew that it wouldn't happen again any time soon – Dromarch's back was reserved solely for Nia.

"Now…" Rex returned his attention to his two human-shaped companions and placed his hands on his hips. "Who do I get to thank for pulling me from the water?"

"That would also be Dromarch," Nia explained, swiping at her nose.

Before Rex even had the time to glance at the Blade in question, Dromarch objected, "It was a group effort. I never would have found you without Azurda."

"And Nia helped me ashore," Pyra put in.

"Yeah, and Pyra was our Rex-o-meter," Nia added with a snarky undertone. It fell a little flat when she turned away and muttered under her breath, "I swear, if I ever have to watch someone drown again..."

Rex decided to pretend he didn't hear her. He looked around, once again making sure no one was hurt, and smiled. "Thank you, everyone."

Pyra smiled back. Nia huffed, still looking anywhere but at Rex. Dromarch bowed his head with an "I'm glad I could be of help" and Azurda tried to lift the mood by complaining about the inside of Rex' helmet being damp, though that ended with Rex being the only one to laugh about it.

"Well, maybe we can ask Pyra to dry it for you!"

"Uh..." Pyra piped up, her voice doubtful. "I don't think I can do that without singeing your hair, Rex."

Rex turned to his partner, somewhat dumbstruck. That wasn't _exactly_ what he meant...

Nia groaned and placed her hand on her hips. "You need to stop taking everything at face value, Pyra!"

"But..." Pyra began, making Nia roll her eyes and swing her gaze from Pyra to Rex and from Rex to Pyra.

"You two are _just perfect_ for each other, you know that?"

The pair shared a confused look, only to be interrupted by a yawn of Rex' part. "Whatever... We still need to get to Yukrit."

"Right," Nia declared and pushed past Rex to reclaim her place on Dromarch's back. "We better get going. And let's avoid the drowning this time, okay?"

"Great idea, Nia!" Rex grinned and punched the air. "That would an embarrassing way to go indeed for a salvager!"

Nia very nearly faceplanted into Dromarch's fur. "Glad to have that sorted out." She shook her head. "What did I do to deserve being stuck with this moron?"

Dromarch's whiskers vibrated with amusement. "I believe you were lucky, my lady."

"Is that so?" Nia's eyes narrowed. "Looks like Pyra's rubbing off. Would you mind not answering rhetorical questions?"

At that point, Rex couldn't hold back anymore and burst into snickers, causing Nia to redirect her attention. "And you! Would you kindly mind your own business?!"

"We're literally one ped away," Azurda pointed out. "It's quite hard not to listen in."

"Argh!" Nia growled. "You are such...!"

"Children?" Rex laughed. "Well, Gramps is about 1300 years old."

That drew Nia up short for a moment, then she harrumphed and turned up her nose. "Let's go, Dromarch."

"Very well, my lady."

Rex watched them go. He toyed with the idea of letting Nia have the last word, but eventually decided that no, his honor was at stake. So he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted after her.

"You're welcome, Nia!"

* * *

**Somewhat AU-ish, I guess. I mean, we get references to more towns/villages than Torigoth in Gormott, and I figured that the way is long enough for a break in one of them. Also, I really wanted to write something pre-Torigoth, because early Nia seemed like a fun challenge.**

**Also also, I don't usually go around drowning characters, so don't expect another extreme one shot like this. I mean, I'm actually trying for humor here...**


End file.
